By Brett Tingley
A giant black sarcophagus the likes of which have never been seen has been found deep within the ground in Egypt, and a whole lot of scientists want to open it – despite having neither one earthly nor one unearthly idea what might lie waiting possibly maliciously inside. Say it with me now: “What! Could! Go! Wrong?” [cue applause and intro music]
Today’s episode of What The Hell Are They Thinking? comes to you straight from the ancient city of Alexandria in Egypt, one of the cradles of Western civilization as we know it. Earlier this month, construction crews there unearthed the kind of true archaeological mystery which can only be found in Egypt. A massive alabaster head was found in the ground, the identity of which still remains a mystery. Even stranger (and scarier), a massive black sarcophagus was discovered nearby, measuring two meters by three meters, weighing over 30 metric tons, and carved entirely from black marble. Sounds like the perfect way to entomb an immortal evil wizard if you ask me.
But they didn’t ask me. Instead, a team of archaeologists and scientists from Egypt’s money hungry Ministry of Antiquities will crack the menacing-looking thing open despite the entirety of the internet knowing that it’s a terrible idea. “We are hoping this tomb may belong to one of the high dignitaries of the period,” Ayman Ashmawy, the head of Egypt’s Ministry of Antiquities said in a statement, his pupils turning into dollar signs as he eyes the sarcophagus and licks his lips. “The alabaster head is likely that of a nobleman in Alexandria. When we open the sarcophagus, we hope to find objects inside that are intact, which will help us to identify this person and their position.”
Let’s take a step back for a second, though: why would you take the time and resources to bury something underneath a 15-ton slab of black marble unless you really, really want it to stay there? But no, fetch the crowbars and let’s get crackin’ boys! There’s museums to stock and tours to plan!
While in all likelihood the tomb contains nothing more than the stinking remains of some poor inbred aristocrat and all of his junk, there does in fact seem to be a precedent for a real-life pharaoh’s curse – although it seems the “curse” is more like a lifetime of disappointment and waning fame living in the shadow of your greatest discovery than a persistent haunting from a vengeful ancient ghost. But who knows? Maybe vengeful ancient ghosts work in mysterious ways. Maybe evil wizards don’t like being buried for 2,000 years in a musty black marble box. Maybe some things are better left in the ground where one of the most advanced civilizations in human history clearly wanted it to stay.
I’ll be in the bunker tonight, honey; no dinner for me. I’ve got talismans to enchant and salt circles to pour.
This article (Egypt Will Open Giant Black Mystery Sarcophagus Despite Warnings) was originally published on Mysterious Universe and syndicated by The Event Chronicle.
Continues from RT News…
Impending apocalypse? Egypt poised to open mystery black sarcophagus & Twitter fears worst
By RT News
The black granite sarcophagus was uncovered in a tomb deep beneath the Egyptian city of Alexandria in early July. It’s believed to be the largest sarcophagus ever discovered in Alexandria, at 9ft long, 5ft wide and 6ft deep, says Mostafa Waziri, general secretary of Egypt’s Supreme Council of Antiquities.
Look, I realize that by saying this I am dooming myself to be among the first victims of whatever ancient beast emerges from it, but I don't buy the idea that there's anything in that sarcophagus other than a very old mummy. OF COURSE they should open it.
— Mike Madden (@MikeMadden) July 17, 2018
The sarcophagus discovery, while intriguing, has raised many questions about why a person would require such a large tomb, what artifacts it could be hiding, and what opening the vault could unleash.
An all black sarcophagus was discovered in Egypt. It dates back ~2000 years and was found with an alabaster head. Alexander the Great’s body was never found and was rumored to be buried in this area…. I wonder…? pic.twitter.com/uoXwuCp0wR
— abdul (@Advil) July 12, 2018
Egypt after opening that mysterious Black Sarcophagus pic.twitter.com/GQfIX2Tn0U
— F.A.C. (@ROTLD_2) July 17, 2018
This is probably fine, and definitely not the thing that happens right before the foolhardy archaeologists ignore the ancient prophesy and unleash our doom.https://t.co/PTmcZfkT8H
— Robert McNees (@mcnees) July 11, 2018
Interestingly, the sarcophagus is also covered in a thick layer of mortar, suggesting it has not been opened since the Ptolemaic period to which it dates back – between 305BC and 30BC. That means whatever is inside; a person, jewelry, clothing and anything else, would still be intact. And that was a fact not well received by some very alarmed netizens.
They found this black granite sarcophagus in Alexandria and that’s really cool and all but if the movies have taught me anything…guys…don’t open that. Just don’t. Leave it alone. pic.twitter.com/l770a8hT3T
— Catherynne Valente (@catvalente) July 12, 2018
If we've learned anything from every Mummy movie of the last 100 years, its that this sarcophagus must not be opened. https://t.co/aLuliTBBlb
— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) July 11, 2018
They open the mysterious black sarcophagus and inside it's David Bowie, alive and well. He then sets about repairing the timeline using the occult knowledge he won through trickery in the Underworld
— iucounu (@iucounu) July 11, 2018
Also discovered in the tomb was the alabaster head of a man which some believe may represent the person buried in the coffin. Most ancient tombs discovered in Egypt were looted in one era or another, often leaving archaeologists with a limited understanding of the person inside. This untouched artifact gives the eager team a rare opportunity to uncover the mummy for themselves.
Some people suggested the sarcophagus coupled with the recent discovery of a Neolithic henge in Ireland is either a sign of an impending apocalypse… or a very extravagant marketing scheme for a new Indiana Jones movie.
Mexican earthquake reveals new Mayan Temple, drought shows up massive Neolithic henge in Ireland and then there’s the enormous black sarcophagus found in Egypt. It’s either the end of days or a really cunning promotion campaign for the next Indiana Jones movie
— Kate Griffin (@KateAGriffin) July 18, 2018
Black sarcophagus in Egypt. Unknown henge surfacing in Ireland. I dunno, you wait around for ages for an apocalypse and then they all turn up at once.
— Adrian Bott (@Cavalorn) July 11, 2018
Spooky guesses aside, the greatest hurdle might be figuring out how to open the tomb at all. Estimated to weigh some 30 tons, moving the vault will be no easy feat. Experts will have to either surround it with some protective dirt and lift the entire thing with a bulldozer, or open the coffin in situ and remove the lid and base separately, according to Waad Abul-Ela, head of the projects sector at the Ministry of Antiquities.
So as not to cause damage to the contents, archaeologists are considering using X-rays, computed tomography scans or other scientific means to get a glimpse of the inside before opening the lid.
This article (Impending apocalypse? Egypt poised to open mystery black sarcophagus & Twitter fears worst) was originally published on RT News and syndicated by The Event Chronicle.